"Oh, I hurt," she told him. "It hurts to breathe and my stomach aches and itches and I'm not allowed to scratch it and my arm is killing me and my face feels swollen but I haven't really looked yet," she lists, indulging in a little bit of whining before sucking it up again.

"Other than that, I'm fine. They say I'll make a complete recovery, though I'll have some scars to show for it."