Visitors

[wearingagun]

She hated the hospital. She hated the drugs and the smell and the nurses coming and going. She couldn't get any decent sleep because someone was constantly there to check her stitches or her blood pressure or her temperature. It took a couple days before they eased off on the narcotic drip and she could focus and stay awake. Watch the vid. Raley and Ochoa had been in, as had the Captain and it seemed like half the department. Her oom was full of flowers and balloons and well wishes. The department shrink had been in twice already and Kate knew she was going to have to talk to him at length eventually.

But for now she had a tray of clear liquids, coffee and broth and gelatin. She had the vid on some mindless program about interior design. The day was sunny and Kin City General buzzed with activity around her. It made it easy to think of anything other than being tied to the wall and nearly gutted. It made it easier to forget why she hurt so much right now with her bandaged ribs and her wrist in a cast. No, she didn't think about those things in the daylight. Those thoughts came at night.

Comments

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he said quietly, "but it's more than remembering, Kate, isn't it." That was the danger of trauma, wasn't it. "Every time it hurts, you re-experience it."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I can't believe it happened. Any of it. Getting taken. What he did to me. What he did to Aayla. And I watched her kill him, Dick. I watched and nothing had ever been so...good."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I know." His fingers curled in the blankets, but he kept his eyes on her, expression neutral. "This stuff...it gets stuck in your head like a gear that needs oil, Kate, and it's not going to stop feeling like that unless you get real help, okay?" He spoke from experience. He was a hypocrite, but he spoke from experience.

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I know." She managed a small laugh and pulled herself back together. "That's what the shrink keeps telling me when he comes and sits in that chair."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, sometimes shrinks actually know what they're talking about," he said with a rough laugh. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair back from her face. "But you do what you need to do, all right? You know I've got your back."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

Beckett nodded and closed her eyes.

"I know," she said quietly. "And when I get out of here, I want to see you. You can use the window all you want." She smiled a little and opened her eyes to look at him. So much of what she couldn't say was there in her eyes.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

Dick stroked a warm, weighted hand over her hair. "It is going to be all right, Kate," he murmured, meeting her eyes, the concern in his blues spilling up into the twist of his brow, "I promise it's going to be all right."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"You can't promise that, Dick," Beckett replied softly. She reached up and took hold of his hand. "But you could be right. At least it'll be better once I'm out of here."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I promise lots of things I can't really keep." He held her hand in both of his, bringing it to his lips, still looking pained. "Bad habit."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I won't make you break it," she said softly. His lips felt good. Warm. She hated the hospital...so cold. She felt like she couldn't possibly get enough blankets.

"And then it dawned on her- he was kissing her hand. That was...new. She watched as his lips touched her skin and was a little surprised to find that she didn't mind one bit.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

Her hands were chilled. Dick wanted to crawl in with her until she was warm again, knowing the cold was coming from more than the under heated hospital room. Instead he just ducked his head, forehead to her hand. "I'm so sorry Kate," he said quietly, voice suddenly hoarse, "I'm so sorry I couldn't get there sooner."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"How did you even know?" she asked. "He caught me unaware and drugged me and when I woke up...I don't know how you knew. I don't know how anyone knew. I was sure I was going to die there."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"As soon as I got wind that he'd gotten out during transport I figured the three of you were targets." He shook his head slowly. "But I found out late in the game. He already had hours on me. He'd already gotten to you."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"So you went to Tereus," she said, matter of factly. If it was her, she'd take out the cops before she took on the one who she knew could do real damage. It made sense, in a twisted, criminal, psychopath way.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I had just checked your apartment when I got word the hit had been taken out on him," he said, his gut twisting. He was already carrying a lot of guilt for the choice he'd made, even if ultimately it hadn't really been a choice at all. Tereus had been one more shot from being dead when Nightwing had arrived.

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I saw the monitor. He had a monitor. There was video of his place," she said. "I didn't see what happened, though. I kept drifting in and out."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I got the shooter," he said, giving her hand a squeeze, "Tereus' balcony doors were shot out but he was fine. You must have seen the monitor before I got there. I cut it kind of close."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"At least he's okay. You did good, Dick. I don't know what I'd do if..."

Her throat closed of, choking the words as she thought for a moment what it would be like to go through this all knowing Tereus had been killed by that son of a bitch.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I know." He took a deep breath and looked up at her again, still speaking against her hand. "Think it's safe to say we're both pretty in love with him, Kate. I can say it, even if you can't. I don't know what I would have done either."

It might have broken him.

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

In love with him. Yeah, she could agree to that, even if she wasn't quite ready to say it out loud. She needed to admit it, though. She needed to let Tereus know, in no uncertain terms.

But it was hard, hearing it from Dick's lips. She wasn't sure she could do the whole love triangle thing.

"I'm glad you got to him, Dick. You did good. You always do good."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

He gave a choked laugh, shaking his head. "I try. I don't always do good, Kate. I can't always manage it." He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. "I try..."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"Keep trying. You do good, Dick. You're never going to live up to that crazy ideal you have but you make a difference," she assured him.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

He nodded slowly, hiding his face again and still clinging to her hand. Seeing Kate and Aayla had been almost too much - too reminiscent of the destroyed apartment building, of the burned circus, too reminiscent of his own body after Catalina had shot blockbuster. He understood violation. "As long as you do too."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I will," Beckett promised. "Now. Enough of that. I'm an invalid...you're supposed to pamper me. So get pampering." She smiled and waved at the table. "Could you help me get a drink?"

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." He pushed up, finally releasing her hand. Dick shook his head clear and flashed her a well practiced smile. "What do you want. Just water?"