A Night With Dick
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wearingagunThere was pad thai and there was a white board. The food was good but the board had her standing there, just staring at it. Every new lead, every little tidbit, every hunch was laid out there. It was getting crowded and papers had moved from the board to the wall around it. But Beckett was no closer to an answer. Hell, she couldn't even find a cell or a connection between this attack and that.
Beckett sighed and took another bite. She slurped the noodles when she heard a scuff at the kitchen window. He was damn quiet, but she was getting used to the sound of him coming in. An open window was an open invitation as far as they were both concerned. She didn't even bother to turn around.
"Hi there," she said. "I have dinner if you're hungry."
"Yes," he said with a groan as he flopped next to her on the couch. Dick peeled the mask off even as he went for a box of food. He snatched up a pair of chopsticks and started to eat hungrily. With the Scarecrow on the loose, Jaime laying low to protect his family and the drugs showing up more and more, Nightwing was running himself extra hard. It also meant he stopped thinking about Jackie, much less had time to see him. Unfortunately, the down side was he only got fleeting moments with Tereus, but for the time being, he had to make due and it wasn't even because he was trying to avoid the man.
He'd been passing by when he realized he hadn't seen Kate since her release. They were way overdue for a check in, and he knew he could rely on her for good take out.
"It's like you haven't eaten in days," she said, turning to face him. "You look like crap, Dick. Are you getting any sleep at all?"
"Few hours, sure," he said around a mouthful. He didn't add that the
few hours was every couple of days. He just shrugged and settled back
on the couch. "I'm fine, Kate, don't worry about me."
"You say that like it'll actually do any good. Of course I'm going to worry about you, Dick," she replied, abandoning the board to come and join him. "What's been so important it's running you ragged?"
"That new designer drug that hit the streets a few weeks ago?" If he
could avoid the real question he'd be good, "being fronted by a guy
from my home town."
"That doesn't sound good," she said gravely. "That stuff is driving Vice crazy. Do you have any leads for dealers? Or, you know, the guy?" Not that she expected him to cough it up. She just shook her head and slurped another bite. "You and these guys from home," she muttered.
"The guy who developed the drug calls himself Scarecrow. His name is Jonathan Crane and he's full blown crazy, nearly impossible to predict." He chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "And I think he's in the city because of me."
"Jonathan Crane," Beckett repeated. She'd be sure to pass it on through proper channels. "How dangerous is he, Dick? Like Estacado?"
"He's just as dangerous, in a different way." Dick sighed and leaned forward to set the container down. "He's a mad man, all he cares about is instilling fear. This drug he's developed is a knock off of his fear serum and it's highly addictive." And if he could avoid talking about Jackie, he would.
"This sounds like something you're going to need help on. You can't take down someone like this all on your own. Especially not now, not after that beating you got from Estacado," Beckett said matter of factly. "Have you told Tereus? He could get word to Vice faster than I can. The captain, um, well, I'm not allowed in the precinct at all for two more weeks. He put his foot down."
"Tereus has been working with me." He scraped a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling a bit restless. The food had settled uneasily in his stomach and he took a deep breath, shaking his head a little. He was exhausted, but he was always exhausted. "And there's a new vigilante in the city, you should be warned."
"The hits just keep coming with you. New mafia, new drug lord, new vigilante...there's no long lost twin around the corner, is there?" she asked, reaching out to take his hand and make him settle down.
He was honestly surprised by the touch and looked across at her before answering. "No long lost twin. But...." Dick shifted so he was facing her. "I'm worried about the people close to me, the people I work with. The people I've...acknowledged as Nightwing." Meaning Tereus, specifically, the man he'd been with most visibly.
"Because of what happened before," she said. "Dick...we're all strong. Let us worry about ourselves. You can't control everything," Beckett added gently. The irony of her saying something like that wasn't lost on her.
He sent her a look. "But if he really is here targeting me, and he goes after you? After Tereus? It will be my fault. Kate..." he shifted again, clearly struggling to sit still, "Bryce used to work for this guy." He hesitated again. "I think...I think Crane helped him escape."
That sent a chill through her and she paled. Her grasp slipped away from his hand. "I see," she said, curling in on herself a little. "So...what now? It's not like I'm going to hide. And you know Tereus and Aayla won't."
"I'm sorry. Kate, I'm sorry." He shifted closer, reaching out before hesitating. "I shouldn't have brought it up like that. I just...I'm not trying to scare you. I don't want you to hide. I need your help."
"Just tell me what you need, Dick," she said quietly. "Anything."
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I'm a fucking moron, I'm sorry. That was such an asshole thing to pull."
"Hey, it's okay. Really. The shrink says it's going to take some time...but Bryce is dead and his ghost isn't going to stop me from helping you. If this Crane is behind it all, then we need to focus on him," she said with certainty, giving his hand a squeeze.
He reached up to tentatively brush hair back from her face. "We do. I'm going to need you and Tereus on this, when you're back." Another deep breath and he opened his eyes again, meeting her gaze, seemingly think into thought. He was silent for a long minute. "I slept with Estacado."
It was so tender, so sweet. Sometimes Dick made her heart flutter. Beckett was in the process of closing her eyes when he said what he did and they flew wide again and she lunged backward.
"You WHAT?!"
He winced away, ducking his head, teeth bared. "I slept with Estacado. A week or so ago." Anger was all right at this point. He just wouldn't be able to take disappointment. Dick was afraid to look at her.
"You flipped out about me having dinner with him...and you fucked him? Jesus, Dick, you could have just said something," she said harshly. "What was that beat down? Domestic violence?"
"What?" His eyes were sharp and he looked up without trouble in his shock. "Christ, Kate, I didn't warn you off of dinner with him because I wanted to fuck him."
She shook her head and tried to pull herself together a little.
"But you made it clear he was a Very Bad Man, Dick. What are you doing falling into bed with someone like that?"
"I didn't fall into bed with him," he said as he pushed to his feet, "I went to see him at his new nightclub and it...just happened. I didn't plan for it, okay? And I don't know why."
"Dick," Beckett sighed, then shook her head. The beating, the clear lack of sleep, the way he pushed himself, and now this? "You're out of control. You can't keep living like this."
"This is nothing new." His voice was hoarse suddenly and his feet were carrying him in a nearly manic path around her apartment. "I don't know, Kate. It just felt good. Everything about it felt good and even when we were done..." he hadn't regretted it, "and I want him to do it again."
Beckett got up and interrupted his track, catching him by the arms. One hand was strong as she held him, the other weaker and still in a brace. He was bigger and he was stronger, but she was stubborn.
"Dick, just stop. He's bad. He's what you fight against. He's why you wear the suit. You can't hunt him and screw him. You can't have it both ways."
"I'm not exactly the one doing the screwing," he said dryly, back to being unable to meet her eyes. He looked past her at the far wall. "I haven't told Tereus."
"Well I'm not going to tell him. That's up to you," she said. Letting go of his arm, she cradled his jaw to get him to look at her. "Dick..." she sighed. "What are you doing?" It was only kind of rhetorical. He looked like he was in so much pain. Conflict and doubt and desire...he certainly wasn't the cocky playboy she'd met in the park so long ago. It seemed like ages ago.
"I don't know." He felt like the dull edge of a knife, too numb, too tired to focus on her, and for a reason he couldn't explain and didn't want to look at too closely, he kept thinking of Catalina, of her hands on him. "I just...want control back."
"I can't just give you that, but I'll help," she said softly, her fingers playing along the line of his jaw and the angle of his cheek bone. "I think you need to start with one good night's sleep."
"Sleep when I'm dead," he muttered, head dropping as he leaned into her hands, sharp blue eyes fluttering shut.
"You're going to wind up dead if you keep going like you have been," she said, her voice just a little softer. "Just look at you. Dick, you're exhausted. The city isn't going to fall apart if you take one night." She paused and thought about it for a second, then took a deep breath. "You can stay here."
"It's not even twelve," he said without moving even one eyelash, "I can't stop patrolling yet. I just came to check in." What he wanted to do was fall into her arms. What he wanted to do was collapse between her and Tereus and never move again - hell he didn't even need them to be naked, he just needed their presence. Dick missed feeling safe.
"Dick, no. Please stay. Just tonight. Just once," she said. It was quiet and halting- she wasn't used to begging for anything. But this...this she'd beg for. She'd do anything to just get him to rest.
"Kate..." he groaned unhappily, hand coming up to cover his eyes, taking the place of the mask. "If I'm right and the Scarecrow is here because of me, how can I justify not dedicating all my time to finding him?" After what he'd done with the drugs, after how he'd helped Bryce escape, each crime hung like a weight around Nightwing's throat.
"Even the Scarecrow sleeps, Dick. Six hours. Six hours of sleep, that's all I'm asking. Not even normal human sleep...just more than you normally get," she said. "You can even have my bed."
Six hours was more sleep than he'd gotten in a few days. His shoulders slumped slowly and after a long pause he nodded once. "But I can't sleep now." He wouldn't be able to stomach the dreams. "I just...I need distraction." Usually that was patrol, he wore himself into the ground until he slept without dreaming, but now he had all this nervous energy that had no release.
She was sp pleased she got him to conditionally agree that she didn't even think. Beckett leaned in and pressed her lips to his. It was a few seconds before the surprise of what she was doing registered and she backed away.
"I...um...that wasn't..."
For once, that hadn't been what he'd meant by distraction. His eyes went from heavy and shut to wide open, something like a thrill running down his spine. "Kate..." he wasn't quite sure of her motivation, but he didn't want to question it out loud.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," she said as she pulled away and touched her lips with her fingertips to try to banish the warmth and softness that lingered. It was stupid. There was Tereus. There was Jackie. There was god knew who else. And she had Aayla to think of and Dick would just make everything complicated and she'd make things more complicated for him and...
That was good, her gut told her.
She looked into his eyes and looked for an answer he couldn't possibly have.
He knew some of the struggle would be visible on his face. Dick wasn't quite sure when intimacy had been conflated with sex for him, but it was a running theme in his life to the point where he wasn't sure he knew how to be close with anyone anymore without wanting to sleep with them. It was probably why he missed Tim and Alfred maybe more than anyone - he was lacking for platonic relationships. But there was just no way he could look at Kate - all dark hair and dark eyes and christ those lips - and not want to kiss her again.
"If you think," he started slowly, "that this would...fuck up our friendship, for good, tell me. Because I want to kiss you."
"I...don't know, Dick. I don't think so, but..." She stopped and licked her lips, her eyes locked on his. "...What about Tereus?"
"I..." they clearly had different ideas of trust and commitment, but at the same time she wasn't wrong to ask it. How would Tereus feel if he knew he'd been with Kate? Would he feel differently because of who it was? "Do you really think he'd consider this a betrayal? He loves us both, we both love him..." Dick squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his forehead, "or maybe you shouldn't listen to me because I can rationalize sleeping with anyone."
Beckett took a half step closer and laid her hand on his shoulder. She really didn't know, but she and Tereus weren't exclusive and Dick had a point about who loved whom. She gave up a small smile and rolled her shoulder in a shrug.
"I don't know," she said again, then took a step back and let her hand slide down his arm and into his hand. She kept walking backward toward the bedroom.
Once again honest surprise crossed his face. Kate kept surprising him. He followed dumbly, for a moment, before stepping up behind her, head ducked to speak in her ear. "Thought you weren't impressed by me."
"I'm not," she said with a growing smile. "Not at all. You're cocky and you're a show off. And you're stubborn. And infuriating. And you flaunt the protocol of law..." She could have gone on but somehow she found her mouth against his again, this time without any hesitation at all.
Dick smiled into the kiss until the heat under her skin got warm enough to make him forget pretty much anything except the way she lifted up to his mouth. One gloved hand slid up her shoulder and into her hair, cradling her head as he returned the embrace the only way he knew how - enthusiastically. Maybe he equated closeness with sex, but it had worked for him so far.
Beckett kept walking toward the bedroom, even as his lips moved against hers and her tongue darted to taste his. She ran her hands over the suit and found out quickly that she had no idea how to get him out of it. She'd leave that for him to worry about...she was good with just feeling him close, with the scent of him clouding her head and making it impossible to think of any reason not to take him to her bed.
The gloves came off first and he broke the kiss to watch now bare palms skim up under her shirt. But then he was pulling away again, urging her back onto the bed with one hand as he bent to undo his boots with the other, kicking them off as soon as they were loose enough. His eyes were on her whenever possible, clearly imagining the view he'd be afforded once she lost her own clothes.
She watched him for a long moment before making quick work of pushing off her yoga pants and pulling off her loose t-shirt. It was practically her rehabilitation uniform- comfortable and loose and easily shed. That just left her bra and panties which were nothing to cheer about. White. Steady, reliable, plain white. Easily chosen and worn for comfort, not to impress anyone.
She didn't need trappings. It wasn't her underwear he was attracted to. Dick reached behind him and pulled his shirt off over his head - the kevlar-nomex mix dragging as it always did, stiff and thick enough to stop a glancing bullet. It dropped to the floor and he stepped closer, working on the pants next.
There were all the usual scars, which she'd seen before when she'd taken him to Mickey's, but there were mottled bruises on his shoulder from a bad hit, and the splotches across his ribs where Estacado had hit him the worst during his beating - the broken rib - were still fading. Dick moved without any sense of self consciousness, however. He slipped the pants off his hips and kicked them away, muscle shifting under skin as he undressed and slid forward onto the bed with her.
"You're a mess," she said, crawling backward onto the bed more as he joined her. Her own bruises were mostly gone, just faint yellow swatches giving a hint of where they'd been. She had fresh pink scars from the cuts, scars she'd carry forever. Compared to Dick's plethora of wounds, she doubted he even noticed them.
She wrapped an arm around his body, arching up and bracing herself on her elbow so she could kiss him. One knee dragged up against his leg, tangling him up in skin and want.
"Bruise like a peach," he murmured into her mouth, deeply resentful of the cloth that separated them now that he was settled over her, moving to kneel between her legs. Dick reached down to hook fingers in her panties, sliding them low over her thighs as best he could. Her weight was slight as she used the broad stretch of his back to help keep her upright. For so long now Dick had been used to the hard angles of men, men that were occasionally larger than him, and now it was like every part of the woman under him was like a surprise waiting to be discovered. He deepened the kiss, licking into her mouth eagerly as he worked on her bra next.
She gasped into his mouth at just how easily he stripped her out of the little bit of lingerie she wore. She felt incredibly naked- not simply bare but exposed in a way that made her blush. His hands, his lips, the flat planes and sharp angles of his body, they all overwhelmed her a little and made her push for more. Beckett hooked her leg over his and lifted, pushing and rolling to get him on his back. She wasn't weak but she was nowhere near as strong as he was. He wouldn't roll if he didn't want to...of that she was sure.
Dick could recognize what she wanted, and the simple fact that he could stop her if he wanted was what urged him to roll onto his back at her urging. Taking advantage of his size during sex wasn't really Dick's thing - something Tereus or Jackie could attest to.
He shook any thoughts of Jackie out of his head after that, settling back against the pillows and letting his hands skim up her sides to her breasts where it was easy to push away the unhooked bra.
She straddled him and curled over him to be able to kiss him again. She loved the way his hands felt on her, rough and strong and gentle and perfect. Moving from his lips, she kissed along the strong angle of his jaw, nipping and tasting from his chin all the way to his ear. She wanted him so much but she couldn't hep but marvel at the flutter of nervousness in her stomach. Why he did that to her...she didn't know. Just a smile could make her have butterflies- something she promptly chided herself for because he didn't impress her.
Except he kind of did, if she was honest. And now that she had him naked? Definitely impressed.
Dick lifted into the kisses as he shifted under her to get his boxer briefs off. Now that they were both as naked as possible, he could drop back to appreciate, hands roaming every inch of skin available to him. They lingered over her hips and thighs, thumb brushing the soft crease where leg met groin, and then he was leaning up to catch her mouth again, tongue still working against hers like he was trying to crawl inside. After a moment, he murmured one word, "condom?" not meant to be rushing or urging, just precautionary.
She didn't stop kissing him, didn't even pause in her exploration of his skin. Beckett simply reached out, opened a drawer, and pressed a square into Dick's hand. She was too preoccupied with moving over him, touching and tasting and testing. She was careful of his ribs and her lips were especially soft over the healed scar where he'd been shot. His whole body was a map of pain and injury and she hated to think of how it had come to be that way.
He could tell she was lingering over the scars. Dick palmed the foil and pressed it to the blankets before sitting up, bringing her with him, her legs looped around his hips, his cock pressed hard to her stomach but his hand soft against her cheek. "I don't regret them," he murmured quietly, eyes on her lips, "I don't regret the life I've lived. Not all of them are bad reminders."
"There's just so many," she said quietly, searching his eyes. "You have so many and you're so young." And though she tried not to, she couldn't help but compare him to Tereus. Tereus who had almost no flaws. Or to Carey who had truly been flawless (and with that kind of money it wasn't surprising). Beckett's fingers traced the curves of his shoulders and moved down the cuts in the muscles of his arms as she kept her balance. She was obviously not bothered. Just curious.
"I know." He lifted his blue eyes to meet her dark ones. His hand was lingering against the curve of her ass, the other lifting to cup the warm weight of her breast. "But they're..." he knew this would sound crazy, but he trusted her not to change her mind about sleeping with him, "proof. That's I'm...effective. That I'm good at what I do. That I'm strong and that I'm still alive. Each time I survive..." he glanced down at the bruises that still marred his side - he almost hadn't survived that one, "it reaffirms why it's all important."
"You are such a strange man," she said softly, tangling a hand in his hair and pulling his closer. Tilting her head back, she guided him to her throat and closed her eyes as she simply indulged in feeling the solid heat of him against her. She squeezed her legs a little tighter and held on, arching to rock her ass in his grip. Proof. The word echoed in her head and she couldn't help but think of just how much proof she could leave on his body with her nails and her teeth.
He especially liked that kind of proof. Dick searched out her pulse and began raising a mark just over it. His arm tightened around her waist, encouraging the roll of her hips that slid her against him, let him feel - for a split second - how wet she was. He moaned softly, lapping the salt off her skin as his mouth moved lower, teeth set in collarbone, then back up, leaning forward to kiss behind her ear, back down to her chin to leave a hot kiss on her lips. Dick licked hiding in her throat, liked the way their bodies locked together - the settling of his nerves so reminiscent of being with Tereus like this, pressed as close as possible until he couldn't remember what he'd been so afraid of.
She moaned wantonly and scrambled to hold onto him. Her nails dug into the meat of his shoulders and she pulled herself closer as she rolled her hips and writhed against him. His mouth was driving her out of her mind with want and she wasn't sure she could take much more. She craned her neck and as he savaged one side of her throat, she tasted his on the other. Skin and teeth, lips and tongue, she matched his kisses and added her own as she held on tight and pulled herself as close as she could. The tighter she held on, the less she wanted to let go. She could stay with him like this and be happy. Sort of. She felt him hard against her belly and knew she wouldn't be truly happy just holding him to her.
Dick pressed a hand into the small of her back to support her before urging her back with his other hand on her shoulder, just until she was arched enough that his mouth could fall on her breast, giving the soft skin there the same treatment as he throat had received. His tongue flicked across one taut nipple as the hand on her shoulder slid up into her hair, cradling her head again. His mouth moved across her chest, but he was already working out in his head how he could get to the condom without letting her go.
Another wanton moan escaped her lips and she squirmed more, rutting against him. She ached to get closer, ached to feel him inside her. His lips and tongue wound her up until it made her feel like she was going to fly apart at any moment.
"Dick...please," she gasped. Her nails dug into his shoulders and she strained against him. "Don't...don't stop."
He was tipping her back against the bed, keeping his mouth busy as he opened the condom once his hands were free. Dick shifted from the circle of her legs, pressing up onto his knees and finally pulling away from her breasts. Blue eyes blown dark with need traced the curve of her hips and thighs as he rolled the condom on, letting his hand drift over her belly.
"God," Beckett groaned, hating the eternal seconds it took for him to slip the condom on. As soon as it was secure, she grabbed onto him and shoved him down onto the bed again and straddling him. She rolled her hips and ground against him, dying to feel him slide inside her.
And yet she knew this was the last moment. Anything more and there was no going back.
She didn't want to go back, that much she knew.
It wouldn't have occurred to Dick that Kate would stop him now. If she had, he would have, obviously, but the thought would have made him weep. The shove she gave him got his heart pounding in his chest and he laughed breathlessly just as she rolled her hips down. The laugh turned into a moan and he wrapped fingers around the base of his cock, the other tight against her hip, to guide himself up to her.
She arched and took him in, biting her lip to stifle a cry at the pleasure of it. She sat upright above him and moved just a little as she settled onto him. Then she opened her eyes and looked down at him with a feral grin and an animal light in her eyes. Beckett grabbed for his wrists and shoved his arms into the bed as she braced herself over him and began to ride him.
"Jesus, Kate," he groaned, back arching. His fingers curled, wrists twisting in her grip a little, but he didn't try to push up. Seemed like his friends knew him well, or he was good at picking partners. Dick reigned himself in, licking his lips and opening his eyes to meet hers again. "Fuck, yes."
Her grip tightened as she moved faster, rising and dropping and gasping in time with her heartbeat. It didn't take long for sweat to break out on her brow.
"Dick," she choked out, slowing briefly so she could curl over him and kiss him deeply. She rolled her hips hard, grinding her clit against the wiry soft hair at the base of his cock. It all felt so good that she lost coordination for a moment and simply savored his mouth.
His legs bent, giving him leverage to thrust up when she lost her rhythm, body straining against the heat of hers. He moaned loudly into the kiss, tongue lashing against hers, his wrists gone still in her hands. The restraint, even though he knew he could break it, was amazing. He wanted her to hold him down, move against him just as she was, hips gyrating obscenely.
She writhed serpentine and bucked against his thrusts, gasping as he filled her again and again. She whispered "yes" and cried out for God, holding on tighter to keep him from pushing her away with a pounding collision. Her fingers tightened and her nails dug into his wrists as her palms began to sweat and her grip slipped. Arching a little, Beckett brought her chest up, her tits in his face.
"Suck," she demanded roughly.
How had he not suspected this side of her? Dick lifted his head up, drawing one rosy nipple between his lips to suck eagerly. Bit by bit he drew more of her breast into his mouth, carefully of his teeth, until he had a good mouthful. His tongue worked the soft flesh, hips still snapping up into her, and the effort was not lost on him. Sweat was quickly plastering the dark hair to his forehead, tanned, scarred skin flushing brightly.
"Dick...God, yes," Beckett whimpered, drowning in the pleasure of his mouth. She rolled her hips and met every thrust with force of her own, riding him at an ever quickening pace. It jarred her whole body in the best way and she could only hope he felt as good as she did. Her gut and her head and her heart were all blissfully quiet and she went strictly on animal instinct.
He was moaning around her breast and after a moment of sucking he pulled away with a gasp before moving to the other. She tasted sweet under the salt of sweat and he was pushing up as best he could, letting his mouth slide wetly along the curve of her breast to work a bright mark on the pale skin. The impact of their hips was hard enough to bruise, he was sure, but he could feel himself stretching her tight. He was already close, fighting hard to hold on for her, but the clench of her body was impossible to ignore.
"God," she said, repeated, gasping it like a mantra as she rocked back and ground down on him. "God, Dick, please, yes..." simple words tumbled from her lips, begging him even as she took control and moved her grip from his wrists to his shoulders to hold him down firmly and use him until her climax slammed into her and made her stiffen and arch and cry out.
He felt her come, the ripple of tight muscle around his cock, the shudder of her body. She went stiff, then limp and in an instant he rolled them, starting a hard pace against her, pinning her hips with a tight grip. Dick ducked his head, gasping for air, hair obscuring his vision as he moved, fucking into her fast until he came with a rough shout, shuddered before falling forward, supporting himself over her with one shaking arm.
She was boneless and blissed out. Breathing hard, Beckett draped a lazy arm around him, her skin sticky-slick with perspiration. She ached in all the best ways and every small movement brought another little shock of pleasure and she hiccuped softly as she slowly came back down to earth.
"My God," she groaned. "Dick, that was..."
"Yeah," he said as he let his weight come to rest against her, trying not to sound too smug, "I know." Dick nuzzled into her throat, overheated, but unwilling to pull away from her. "I didn't expect that, Kate, but it makes sense."
"It does, kinda," she agreed. Beckett took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, then grinned and pushed with her leg to roll them over again so she could lay on top of him and look down into his eyes.
"So," she smirked. "As good as Estacado?"
Dick winced at that, looking away before he could stop himself. His hands were still warm on her, but without the purpose of a moment before. "Not...really comparable," he said after a pause.
"I'll take that as 'better'," she said, then dropped all her weight on him and spread herself on him like a blanket. "Nevermind. That was shitty of me. Do you want some water?" she asked, running her fingers down his side, over scars and soft skin.
He shook his head mutely, turning his face into her throat, feeling very much like he wanted to hide now. "You think I'm an idiot."
"I think you're out of control and I think you should get a decent night's sleep. Here. With me," she replied, craning her neck to kiss him again. "That's all I'm concerned with right now, Dick."
"I want it again, Kate," he said unhappily, meeting her eyes again, "it...he made me feel safe, which doesn't make any sense."
"No...I can see that. Sort of," she said, rolling off him and stretching out beside him. She drew lazy shapes on his chest with her fingertips. "He seems like...well, he seems like that kind of guy. The ones where if you're in with them, you're safe and nothing can touch you. But it's not real, Dick. Not that I've ever seen. Guys like him? It all comes crashing down eventually and then no one is safe." She paused. "Guys like you, too, for that matter. Bad boys."
"But what if I can't get it anywhere else." The truth of it was Jackie had him convinced. No one else would be able to do what Jackie did, not the same way. Dick chewed on his lip and exhaled a slow sigh. "I shouldn't have told you."
"Really? That's what you're going with? 'I shouldn't have told you'?" she asked, propping herself up so she could look into his eyes. "I'm not going to tell you who to be involved with, Dick. I'm just going to say that if you wouldn't want me sleeping with them, then maybe you shouldn't do it, either. You'll stay alive longer."
"He's not going to kill me. He had that chance already." The blue eyes shifted to the wall, clearly avoiding what he felt was an accusing gaze. "I just...don't want to be talked out of it." He didn't want all his worries about it being a bad idea to be said out loud - especially not by someone else.
"Dick, I don't think you could be talked out of much," she said. "...You're going to keep seeing him, aren't you?"
He didn't answer for a long time. His fingers curled and uncurled restlessly in the sheets. His eyes traced the edge of the wall from the corner to the bathroom door. "I'm going to try not to."
"He'll beat you again, Dick. I don't doubt that for a minute. Please stay away from him," Beckett said softly. "He's bad news. I looked into him myself after I saw you. He's like Buckley, but a little more obvious."
"I've handled worse." His pride as much as his need for Jackie was getting in the way. Dick glanced at Kate before sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I should go."
"Oh, no," she said, taking hold of his shoulder to pull him back down. "Six hours sleep. Right here, right now. We don't have to talk about anything more, but you promised me some real sleep."
She was clearly not going to take no for an answer.
"Kate," he protested when he found himself back against the bed, "that's not how this works."
"Dick," she replied in the same tone, dropping down until she was nose to nose with him. "I don't care. Go to sleep. You're safe and the city will survive without you for one night. Do it for me."
He sighed heavily. "At least let me go get the mask out of your living room? Just in case?"
"Fine...but I'll keep your clothes in here. If you're thinking about sneaking off out the window, you're doing it naked," she said. Part of her didn't doubt that Dick just might do that.
He cursed under his breath as he rolled to his feet and padded into the other room. That actually had been his plan exactly, but now he just retrieved the mask and came back. Dick tossed on the side table before flopping back onto the bed, face down. "Fine."
He was like a child. Like a giant, muscle bound, scarred child. She hadn't seen anyone so petulant about having to sleep in her life.
"Good night, Dick," she said as she pulled the sheet up over his bare ass. Beckett propped herself up on an elbow and watched him, totally not sleepy. She was a little hungry, actually and couldn't wait for him to fall asleep so she could sneak out and finish her cold pad thai.
It didn't take long for him to crash. He was as exhausted as she suspected, and the orgasm hadn't helped things. Soon his arms were tucked under the pillow, hair a dark stain against the white cloth, eyes shut and broad back rising and falling with deep, measured breath. He would sleep well into the morning and feel physically better, but anxious at having lost so much time.
She waited until she was sure he was genuinely asleep before she settled down on the pillow. His breathing was hypnotic and it didn't take long for her to be drowsy, too. She had no illusions about waking up next to him...she was sure he'd be out of bed and out the window before the sun was even up.
Except Dick was in the exact same place come morning. He hadn't even rolled on his back or pulled his arms out from under the pillow. His back still rose and fell steadily, lost to the kind of coma sleep he was prone to having not not rested at all in two or three days.
Beckett was shocked to find him still there and she wasn't sure what to do. She'd counted on him sneaking off, the way he did. She simply watched him for a long time before she slipped out of bed and grabbed her robe, padding out of the bedroom to make herself some breakfast and straighten up after last night.
He might have slept through the night, but Dick shifted and came awake when he felt her leave. He dragged himself out of sleep, pushing up onto one muscled arm as he forced his eyes open, reaching up to rub at them. For a moment he didn't know where he was, but Kate's scent lingered on the sheets. He flopped onto his back before rolling out of bed and padding silently, naked, into the living room. "Kate?"
"I didn't mean to wake you up," she replied quietly, tugging her silk robe around her after throwing away the thai boxes and straightening the pillows. "I actually didn't expect you to still be here. I figured you'd have taken off as soon as I fell asleep." She paused and walked closer to him. "I'm glad you're still here."
"I crashed," he said with a shrug. He was still rubbing at his eyes when he reached for her, wanting to tug her closer. "I gotta go pretty soon, though. You got anything for breakfast?"
"I have cold pizza," she offered, though she really couldn't vouch for how good it might be. Her refrigerator was a museum of take away boxes, cartons, and bags. One of these days she really needed to clean it out.
"I'm going to come over and cook you real food sometime," he said with a short laugh before bending to kiss her warmly. He was sure he could find something, but right now he was more interested in the curve of her hip under that robe.
Everybody says that," she laughed. "Like take out is bad for me or something. I had some bacon here. Once. And I buy fruit..."
"It's good take out," he agreed amiably as he pulled away and turned to go back into her bedroom, "but it's still take out. Can I use your shower?" He was in an exponentially better mood since getting a full six hours sleep. He still looked worn, but his smile was real, and there wasn't any petulant tone in his voice. Secretly he was kind of hoping that Kate would have forgotten about Estacado.
"Go right ahead," she replied. "There's towels in the cabinet and a regular bar of soap if you don't want to smell like coconut lime. I'll see what kind of food I can get together while you wash up."
Dick paused to look back at her over his shoulder. "Do you use the coconut lime?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "It's one of my favorites, but I do have a mango orange and a cranberry walnut if those are more your taste," Beckett added with a soft laugh. Somehow, Dick didn't strike her as the fruity body wash type of guy.
"Maybe I want to spend the rest of the day smell liking you," he murmured with a smile as he went into the bathroom.
She turned around quickly, her eyes wide and a blush creeping up her neck and cheeks. She could not believe he just said that.
Beckett sighed and took another bite. She slurped the noodles when she heard a scuff at the kitchen window. He was damn quiet, but she was getting used to the sound of him coming in. An open window was an open invitation as far as they were both concerned. She didn't even bother to turn around.
"Hi there," she said. "I have dinner if you're hungry."
"Yes," he said with a groan as he flopped next to her on the couch. Dick peeled the mask off even as he went for a box of food. He snatched up a pair of chopsticks and started to eat hungrily. With the Scarecrow on the loose, Jaime laying low to protect his family and the drugs showing up more and more, Nightwing was running himself extra hard. It also meant he stopped thinking about Jackie, much less had time to see him. Unfortunately, the down side was he only got fleeting moments with Tereus, but for the time being, he had to make due and it wasn't even because he was trying to avoid the man.
He'd been passing by when he realized he hadn't seen Kate since her release. They were way overdue for a check in, and he knew he could rely on her for good take out.
"It's like you haven't eaten in days," she said, turning to face him. "You look like crap, Dick. Are you getting any sleep at all?"
"Few hours, sure," he said around a mouthful. He didn't add that the
few hours was every couple of days. He just shrugged and settled back
on the couch. "I'm fine, Kate, don't worry about me."
"You say that like it'll actually do any good. Of course I'm going to worry about you, Dick," she replied, abandoning the board to come and join him. "What's been so important it's running you ragged?"
"That new designer drug that hit the streets a few weeks ago?" If he
could avoid the real question he'd be good, "being fronted by a guy
from my home town."
"That doesn't sound good," she said gravely. "That stuff is driving Vice crazy. Do you have any leads for dealers? Or, you know, the guy?" Not that she expected him to cough it up. She just shook her head and slurped another bite. "You and these guys from home," she muttered.
"The guy who developed the drug calls himself Scarecrow. His name is Jonathan Crane and he's full blown crazy, nearly impossible to predict." He chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "And I think he's in the city because of me."
"Jonathan Crane," Beckett repeated. She'd be sure to pass it on through proper channels. "How dangerous is he, Dick? Like Estacado?"
"He's just as dangerous, in a different way." Dick sighed and leaned forward to set the container down. "He's a mad man, all he cares about is instilling fear. This drug he's developed is a knock off of his fear serum and it's highly addictive." And if he could avoid talking about Jackie, he would.
"This sounds like something you're going to need help on. You can't take down someone like this all on your own. Especially not now, not after that beating you got from Estacado," Beckett said matter of factly. "Have you told Tereus? He could get word to Vice faster than I can. The captain, um, well, I'm not allowed in the precinct at all for two more weeks. He put his foot down."
"Tereus has been working with me." He scraped a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling a bit restless. The food had settled uneasily in his stomach and he took a deep breath, shaking his head a little. He was exhausted, but he was always exhausted. "And there's a new vigilante in the city, you should be warned."
"The hits just keep coming with you. New mafia, new drug lord, new vigilante...there's no long lost twin around the corner, is there?" she asked, reaching out to take his hand and make him settle down.
He was honestly surprised by the touch and looked across at her before answering. "No long lost twin. But...." Dick shifted so he was facing her. "I'm worried about the people close to me, the people I work with. The people I've...acknowledged as Nightwing." Meaning Tereus, specifically, the man he'd been with most visibly.
"Because of what happened before," she said. "Dick...we're all strong. Let us worry about ourselves. You can't control everything," Beckett added gently. The irony of her saying something like that wasn't lost on her.
He sent her a look. "But if he really is here targeting me, and he goes after you? After Tereus? It will be my fault. Kate..." he shifted again, clearly struggling to sit still, "Bryce used to work for this guy." He hesitated again. "I think...I think Crane helped him escape."
That sent a chill through her and she paled. Her grasp slipped away from his hand. "I see," she said, curling in on herself a little. "So...what now? It's not like I'm going to hide. And you know Tereus and Aayla won't."
"I'm sorry. Kate, I'm sorry." He shifted closer, reaching out before hesitating. "I shouldn't have brought it up like that. I just...I'm not trying to scare you. I don't want you to hide. I need your help."
"Just tell me what you need, Dick," she said quietly. "Anything."
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I'm a fucking moron, I'm sorry. That was such an asshole thing to pull."
"Hey, it's okay. Really. The shrink says it's going to take some time...but Bryce is dead and his ghost isn't going to stop me from helping you. If this Crane is behind it all, then we need to focus on him," she said with certainty, giving his hand a squeeze.
He reached up to tentatively brush hair back from her face. "We do. I'm going to need you and Tereus on this, when you're back." Another deep breath and he opened his eyes again, meeting her gaze, seemingly think into thought. He was silent for a long minute. "I slept with Estacado."
It was so tender, so sweet. Sometimes Dick made her heart flutter. Beckett was in the process of closing her eyes when he said what he did and they flew wide again and she lunged backward.
"You WHAT?!"
He winced away, ducking his head, teeth bared. "I slept with Estacado. A week or so ago." Anger was all right at this point. He just wouldn't be able to take disappointment. Dick was afraid to look at her.
"You flipped out about me having dinner with him...and you fucked him? Jesus, Dick, you could have just said something," she said harshly. "What was that beat down? Domestic violence?"
"What?" His eyes were sharp and he looked up without trouble in his shock. "Christ, Kate, I didn't warn you off of dinner with him because I wanted to fuck him."
She shook her head and tried to pull herself together a little.
"But you made it clear he was a Very Bad Man, Dick. What are you doing falling into bed with someone like that?"
"I didn't fall into bed with him," he said as he pushed to his feet, "I went to see him at his new nightclub and it...just happened. I didn't plan for it, okay? And I don't know why."
"Dick," Beckett sighed, then shook her head. The beating, the clear lack of sleep, the way he pushed himself, and now this? "You're out of control. You can't keep living like this."
"This is nothing new." His voice was hoarse suddenly and his feet were carrying him in a nearly manic path around her apartment. "I don't know, Kate. It just felt good. Everything about it felt good and even when we were done..." he hadn't regretted it, "and I want him to do it again."
Beckett got up and interrupted his track, catching him by the arms. One hand was strong as she held him, the other weaker and still in a brace. He was bigger and he was stronger, but she was stubborn.
"Dick, just stop. He's bad. He's what you fight against. He's why you wear the suit. You can't hunt him and screw him. You can't have it both ways."
"I'm not exactly the one doing the screwing," he said dryly, back to being unable to meet her eyes. He looked past her at the far wall. "I haven't told Tereus."
"Well I'm not going to tell him. That's up to you," she said. Letting go of his arm, she cradled his jaw to get him to look at her. "Dick..." she sighed. "What are you doing?" It was only kind of rhetorical. He looked like he was in so much pain. Conflict and doubt and desire...he certainly wasn't the cocky playboy she'd met in the park so long ago. It seemed like ages ago.
"I don't know." He felt like the dull edge of a knife, too numb, too tired to focus on her, and for a reason he couldn't explain and didn't want to look at too closely, he kept thinking of Catalina, of her hands on him. "I just...want control back."
"I can't just give you that, but I'll help," she said softly, her fingers playing along the line of his jaw and the angle of his cheek bone. "I think you need to start with one good night's sleep."
"Sleep when I'm dead," he muttered, head dropping as he leaned into her hands, sharp blue eyes fluttering shut.
"You're going to wind up dead if you keep going like you have been," she said, her voice just a little softer. "Just look at you. Dick, you're exhausted. The city isn't going to fall apart if you take one night." She paused and thought about it for a second, then took a deep breath. "You can stay here."
"It's not even twelve," he said without moving even one eyelash, "I can't stop patrolling yet. I just came to check in." What he wanted to do was fall into her arms. What he wanted to do was collapse between her and Tereus and never move again - hell he didn't even need them to be naked, he just needed their presence. Dick missed feeling safe.
"Dick, no. Please stay. Just tonight. Just once," she said. It was quiet and halting- she wasn't used to begging for anything. But this...this she'd beg for. She'd do anything to just get him to rest.
"Kate..." he groaned unhappily, hand coming up to cover his eyes, taking the place of the mask. "If I'm right and the Scarecrow is here because of me, how can I justify not dedicating all my time to finding him?" After what he'd done with the drugs, after how he'd helped Bryce escape, each crime hung like a weight around Nightwing's throat.
"Even the Scarecrow sleeps, Dick. Six hours. Six hours of sleep, that's all I'm asking. Not even normal human sleep...just more than you normally get," she said. "You can even have my bed."
Six hours was more sleep than he'd gotten in a few days. His shoulders slumped slowly and after a long pause he nodded once. "But I can't sleep now." He wouldn't be able to stomach the dreams. "I just...I need distraction." Usually that was patrol, he wore himself into the ground until he slept without dreaming, but now he had all this nervous energy that had no release.
She was sp pleased she got him to conditionally agree that she didn't even think. Beckett leaned in and pressed her lips to his. It was a few seconds before the surprise of what she was doing registered and she backed away.
"I...um...that wasn't..."
For once, that hadn't been what he'd meant by distraction. His eyes went from heavy and shut to wide open, something like a thrill running down his spine. "Kate..." he wasn't quite sure of her motivation, but he didn't want to question it out loud.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," she said as she pulled away and touched her lips with her fingertips to try to banish the warmth and softness that lingered. It was stupid. There was Tereus. There was Jackie. There was god knew who else. And she had Aayla to think of and Dick would just make everything complicated and she'd make things more complicated for him and...
That was good, her gut told her.
She looked into his eyes and looked for an answer he couldn't possibly have.
He knew some of the struggle would be visible on his face. Dick wasn't quite sure when intimacy had been conflated with sex for him, but it was a running theme in his life to the point where he wasn't sure he knew how to be close with anyone anymore without wanting to sleep with them. It was probably why he missed Tim and Alfred maybe more than anyone - he was lacking for platonic relationships. But there was just no way he could look at Kate - all dark hair and dark eyes and christ those lips - and not want to kiss her again.
"If you think," he started slowly, "that this would...fuck up our friendship, for good, tell me. Because I want to kiss you."
"I...don't know, Dick. I don't think so, but..." She stopped and licked her lips, her eyes locked on his. "...What about Tereus?"
"I..." they clearly had different ideas of trust and commitment, but at the same time she wasn't wrong to ask it. How would Tereus feel if he knew he'd been with Kate? Would he feel differently because of who it was? "Do you really think he'd consider this a betrayal? He loves us both, we both love him..." Dick squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his forehead, "or maybe you shouldn't listen to me because I can rationalize sleeping with anyone."
Beckett took a half step closer and laid her hand on his shoulder. She really didn't know, but she and Tereus weren't exclusive and Dick had a point about who loved whom. She gave up a small smile and rolled her shoulder in a shrug.
"I don't know," she said again, then took a step back and let her hand slide down his arm and into his hand. She kept walking backward toward the bedroom.
Once again honest surprise crossed his face. Kate kept surprising him. He followed dumbly, for a moment, before stepping up behind her, head ducked to speak in her ear. "Thought you weren't impressed by me."
"I'm not," she said with a growing smile. "Not at all. You're cocky and you're a show off. And you're stubborn. And infuriating. And you flaunt the protocol of law..." She could have gone on but somehow she found her mouth against his again, this time without any hesitation at all.
Dick smiled into the kiss until the heat under her skin got warm enough to make him forget pretty much anything except the way she lifted up to his mouth. One gloved hand slid up her shoulder and into her hair, cradling her head as he returned the embrace the only way he knew how - enthusiastically. Maybe he equated closeness with sex, but it had worked for him so far.
Beckett kept walking toward the bedroom, even as his lips moved against hers and her tongue darted to taste his. She ran her hands over the suit and found out quickly that she had no idea how to get him out of it. She'd leave that for him to worry about...she was good with just feeling him close, with the scent of him clouding her head and making it impossible to think of any reason not to take him to her bed.
The gloves came off first and he broke the kiss to watch now bare palms skim up under her shirt. But then he was pulling away again, urging her back onto the bed with one hand as he bent to undo his boots with the other, kicking them off as soon as they were loose enough. His eyes were on her whenever possible, clearly imagining the view he'd be afforded once she lost her own clothes.
She watched him for a long moment before making quick work of pushing off her yoga pants and pulling off her loose t-shirt. It was practically her rehabilitation uniform- comfortable and loose and easily shed. That just left her bra and panties which were nothing to cheer about. White. Steady, reliable, plain white. Easily chosen and worn for comfort, not to impress anyone.
She didn't need trappings. It wasn't her underwear he was attracted to. Dick reached behind him and pulled his shirt off over his head - the kevlar-nomex mix dragging as it always did, stiff and thick enough to stop a glancing bullet. It dropped to the floor and he stepped closer, working on the pants next.
There were all the usual scars, which she'd seen before when she'd taken him to Mickey's, but there were mottled bruises on his shoulder from a bad hit, and the splotches across his ribs where Estacado had hit him the worst during his beating - the broken rib - were still fading. Dick moved without any sense of self consciousness, however. He slipped the pants off his hips and kicked them away, muscle shifting under skin as he undressed and slid forward onto the bed with her.
"You're a mess," she said, crawling backward onto the bed more as he joined her. Her own bruises were mostly gone, just faint yellow swatches giving a hint of where they'd been. She had fresh pink scars from the cuts, scars she'd carry forever. Compared to Dick's plethora of wounds, she doubted he even noticed them.
She wrapped an arm around his body, arching up and bracing herself on her elbow so she could kiss him. One knee dragged up against his leg, tangling him up in skin and want.
"Bruise like a peach," he murmured into her mouth, deeply resentful of the cloth that separated them now that he was settled over her, moving to kneel between her legs. Dick reached down to hook fingers in her panties, sliding them low over her thighs as best he could. Her weight was slight as she used the broad stretch of his back to help keep her upright. For so long now Dick had been used to the hard angles of men, men that were occasionally larger than him, and now it was like every part of the woman under him was like a surprise waiting to be discovered. He deepened the kiss, licking into her mouth eagerly as he worked on her bra next.
She gasped into his mouth at just how easily he stripped her out of the little bit of lingerie she wore. She felt incredibly naked- not simply bare but exposed in a way that made her blush. His hands, his lips, the flat planes and sharp angles of his body, they all overwhelmed her a little and made her push for more. Beckett hooked her leg over his and lifted, pushing and rolling to get him on his back. She wasn't weak but she was nowhere near as strong as he was. He wouldn't roll if he didn't want to...of that she was sure.
Dick could recognize what she wanted, and the simple fact that he could stop her if he wanted was what urged him to roll onto his back at her urging. Taking advantage of his size during sex wasn't really Dick's thing - something Tereus or Jackie could attest to.
He shook any thoughts of Jackie out of his head after that, settling back against the pillows and letting his hands skim up her sides to her breasts where it was easy to push away the unhooked bra.
She straddled him and curled over him to be able to kiss him again. She loved the way his hands felt on her, rough and strong and gentle and perfect. Moving from his lips, she kissed along the strong angle of his jaw, nipping and tasting from his chin all the way to his ear. She wanted him so much but she couldn't hep but marvel at the flutter of nervousness in her stomach. Why he did that to her...she didn't know. Just a smile could make her have butterflies- something she promptly chided herself for because he didn't impress her.
Except he kind of did, if she was honest. And now that she had him naked? Definitely impressed.
Dick lifted into the kisses as he shifted under her to get his boxer briefs off. Now that they were both as naked as possible, he could drop back to appreciate, hands roaming every inch of skin available to him. They lingered over her hips and thighs, thumb brushing the soft crease where leg met groin, and then he was leaning up to catch her mouth again, tongue still working against hers like he was trying to crawl inside. After a moment, he murmured one word, "condom?" not meant to be rushing or urging, just precautionary.
She didn't stop kissing him, didn't even pause in her exploration of his skin. Beckett simply reached out, opened a drawer, and pressed a square into Dick's hand. She was too preoccupied with moving over him, touching and tasting and testing. She was careful of his ribs and her lips were especially soft over the healed scar where he'd been shot. His whole body was a map of pain and injury and she hated to think of how it had come to be that way.
He could tell she was lingering over the scars. Dick palmed the foil and pressed it to the blankets before sitting up, bringing her with him, her legs looped around his hips, his cock pressed hard to her stomach but his hand soft against her cheek. "I don't regret them," he murmured quietly, eyes on her lips, "I don't regret the life I've lived. Not all of them are bad reminders."
"There's just so many," she said quietly, searching his eyes. "You have so many and you're so young." And though she tried not to, she couldn't help but compare him to Tereus. Tereus who had almost no flaws. Or to Carey who had truly been flawless (and with that kind of money it wasn't surprising). Beckett's fingers traced the curves of his shoulders and moved down the cuts in the muscles of his arms as she kept her balance. She was obviously not bothered. Just curious.
"I know." He lifted his blue eyes to meet her dark ones. His hand was lingering against the curve of her ass, the other lifting to cup the warm weight of her breast. "But they're..." he knew this would sound crazy, but he trusted her not to change her mind about sleeping with him, "proof. That's I'm...effective. That I'm good at what I do. That I'm strong and that I'm still alive. Each time I survive..." he glanced down at the bruises that still marred his side - he almost hadn't survived that one, "it reaffirms why it's all important."
"You are such a strange man," she said softly, tangling a hand in his hair and pulling his closer. Tilting her head back, she guided him to her throat and closed her eyes as she simply indulged in feeling the solid heat of him against her. She squeezed her legs a little tighter and held on, arching to rock her ass in his grip. Proof. The word echoed in her head and she couldn't help but think of just how much proof she could leave on his body with her nails and her teeth.
He especially liked that kind of proof. Dick searched out her pulse and began raising a mark just over it. His arm tightened around her waist, encouraging the roll of her hips that slid her against him, let him feel - for a split second - how wet she was. He moaned softly, lapping the salt off her skin as his mouth moved lower, teeth set in collarbone, then back up, leaning forward to kiss behind her ear, back down to her chin to leave a hot kiss on her lips. Dick licked hiding in her throat, liked the way their bodies locked together - the settling of his nerves so reminiscent of being with Tereus like this, pressed as close as possible until he couldn't remember what he'd been so afraid of.
She moaned wantonly and scrambled to hold onto him. Her nails dug into the meat of his shoulders and she pulled herself closer as she rolled her hips and writhed against him. His mouth was driving her out of her mind with want and she wasn't sure she could take much more. She craned her neck and as he savaged one side of her throat, she tasted his on the other. Skin and teeth, lips and tongue, she matched his kisses and added her own as she held on tight and pulled herself as close as she could. The tighter she held on, the less she wanted to let go. She could stay with him like this and be happy. Sort of. She felt him hard against her belly and knew she wouldn't be truly happy just holding him to her.
Dick pressed a hand into the small of her back to support her before urging her back with his other hand on her shoulder, just until she was arched enough that his mouth could fall on her breast, giving the soft skin there the same treatment as he throat had received. His tongue flicked across one taut nipple as the hand on her shoulder slid up into her hair, cradling her head again. His mouth moved across her chest, but he was already working out in his head how he could get to the condom without letting her go.
Another wanton moan escaped her lips and she squirmed more, rutting against him. She ached to get closer, ached to feel him inside her. His lips and tongue wound her up until it made her feel like she was going to fly apart at any moment.
"Dick...please," she gasped. Her nails dug into his shoulders and she strained against him. "Don't...don't stop."
He was tipping her back against the bed, keeping his mouth busy as he opened the condom once his hands were free. Dick shifted from the circle of her legs, pressing up onto his knees and finally pulling away from her breasts. Blue eyes blown dark with need traced the curve of her hips and thighs as he rolled the condom on, letting his hand drift over her belly.
"God," Beckett groaned, hating the eternal seconds it took for him to slip the condom on. As soon as it was secure, she grabbed onto him and shoved him down onto the bed again and straddling him. She rolled her hips and ground against him, dying to feel him slide inside her.
And yet she knew this was the last moment. Anything more and there was no going back.
She didn't want to go back, that much she knew.
It wouldn't have occurred to Dick that Kate would stop him now. If she had, he would have, obviously, but the thought would have made him weep. The shove she gave him got his heart pounding in his chest and he laughed breathlessly just as she rolled her hips down. The laugh turned into a moan and he wrapped fingers around the base of his cock, the other tight against her hip, to guide himself up to her.
She arched and took him in, biting her lip to stifle a cry at the pleasure of it. She sat upright above him and moved just a little as she settled onto him. Then she opened her eyes and looked down at him with a feral grin and an animal light in her eyes. Beckett grabbed for his wrists and shoved his arms into the bed as she braced herself over him and began to ride him.
"Jesus, Kate," he groaned, back arching. His fingers curled, wrists twisting in her grip a little, but he didn't try to push up. Seemed like his friends knew him well, or he was good at picking partners. Dick reigned himself in, licking his lips and opening his eyes to meet hers again. "Fuck, yes."
Her grip tightened as she moved faster, rising and dropping and gasping in time with her heartbeat. It didn't take long for sweat to break out on her brow.
"Dick," she choked out, slowing briefly so she could curl over him and kiss him deeply. She rolled her hips hard, grinding her clit against the wiry soft hair at the base of his cock. It all felt so good that she lost coordination for a moment and simply savored his mouth.
His legs bent, giving him leverage to thrust up when she lost her rhythm, body straining against the heat of hers. He moaned loudly into the kiss, tongue lashing against hers, his wrists gone still in her hands. The restraint, even though he knew he could break it, was amazing. He wanted her to hold him down, move against him just as she was, hips gyrating obscenely.
She writhed serpentine and bucked against his thrusts, gasping as he filled her again and again. She whispered "yes" and cried out for God, holding on tighter to keep him from pushing her away with a pounding collision. Her fingers tightened and her nails dug into his wrists as her palms began to sweat and her grip slipped. Arching a little, Beckett brought her chest up, her tits in his face.
"Suck," she demanded roughly.
How had he not suspected this side of her? Dick lifted his head up, drawing one rosy nipple between his lips to suck eagerly. Bit by bit he drew more of her breast into his mouth, carefully of his teeth, until he had a good mouthful. His tongue worked the soft flesh, hips still snapping up into her, and the effort was not lost on him. Sweat was quickly plastering the dark hair to his forehead, tanned, scarred skin flushing brightly.
"Dick...God, yes," Beckett whimpered, drowning in the pleasure of his mouth. She rolled her hips and met every thrust with force of her own, riding him at an ever quickening pace. It jarred her whole body in the best way and she could only hope he felt as good as she did. Her gut and her head and her heart were all blissfully quiet and she went strictly on animal instinct.
He was moaning around her breast and after a moment of sucking he pulled away with a gasp before moving to the other. She tasted sweet under the salt of sweat and he was pushing up as best he could, letting his mouth slide wetly along the curve of her breast to work a bright mark on the pale skin. The impact of their hips was hard enough to bruise, he was sure, but he could feel himself stretching her tight. He was already close, fighting hard to hold on for her, but the clench of her body was impossible to ignore.
"God," she said, repeated, gasping it like a mantra as she rocked back and ground down on him. "God, Dick, please, yes..." simple words tumbled from her lips, begging him even as she took control and moved her grip from his wrists to his shoulders to hold him down firmly and use him until her climax slammed into her and made her stiffen and arch and cry out.
He felt her come, the ripple of tight muscle around his cock, the shudder of her body. She went stiff, then limp and in an instant he rolled them, starting a hard pace against her, pinning her hips with a tight grip. Dick ducked his head, gasping for air, hair obscuring his vision as he moved, fucking into her fast until he came with a rough shout, shuddered before falling forward, supporting himself over her with one shaking arm.
She was boneless and blissed out. Breathing hard, Beckett draped a lazy arm around him, her skin sticky-slick with perspiration. She ached in all the best ways and every small movement brought another little shock of pleasure and she hiccuped softly as she slowly came back down to earth.
"My God," she groaned. "Dick, that was..."
"Yeah," he said as he let his weight come to rest against her, trying not to sound too smug, "I know." Dick nuzzled into her throat, overheated, but unwilling to pull away from her. "I didn't expect that, Kate, but it makes sense."
"It does, kinda," she agreed. Beckett took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, then grinned and pushed with her leg to roll them over again so she could lay on top of him and look down into his eyes.
"So," she smirked. "As good as Estacado?"
Dick winced at that, looking away before he could stop himself. His hands were still warm on her, but without the purpose of a moment before. "Not...really comparable," he said after a pause.
"I'll take that as 'better'," she said, then dropped all her weight on him and spread herself on him like a blanket. "Nevermind. That was shitty of me. Do you want some water?" she asked, running her fingers down his side, over scars and soft skin.
He shook his head mutely, turning his face into her throat, feeling very much like he wanted to hide now. "You think I'm an idiot."
"I think you're out of control and I think you should get a decent night's sleep. Here. With me," she replied, craning her neck to kiss him again. "That's all I'm concerned with right now, Dick."
"I want it again, Kate," he said unhappily, meeting her eyes again, "it...he made me feel safe, which doesn't make any sense."
"No...I can see that. Sort of," she said, rolling off him and stretching out beside him. She drew lazy shapes on his chest with her fingertips. "He seems like...well, he seems like that kind of guy. The ones where if you're in with them, you're safe and nothing can touch you. But it's not real, Dick. Not that I've ever seen. Guys like him? It all comes crashing down eventually and then no one is safe." She paused. "Guys like you, too, for that matter. Bad boys."
"But what if I can't get it anywhere else." The truth of it was Jackie had him convinced. No one else would be able to do what Jackie did, not the same way. Dick chewed on his lip and exhaled a slow sigh. "I shouldn't have told you."
"Really? That's what you're going with? 'I shouldn't have told you'?" she asked, propping herself up so she could look into his eyes. "I'm not going to tell you who to be involved with, Dick. I'm just going to say that if you wouldn't want me sleeping with them, then maybe you shouldn't do it, either. You'll stay alive longer."
"He's not going to kill me. He had that chance already." The blue eyes shifted to the wall, clearly avoiding what he felt was an accusing gaze. "I just...don't want to be talked out of it." He didn't want all his worries about it being a bad idea to be said out loud - especially not by someone else.
"Dick, I don't think you could be talked out of much," she said. "...You're going to keep seeing him, aren't you?"
He didn't answer for a long time. His fingers curled and uncurled restlessly in the sheets. His eyes traced the edge of the wall from the corner to the bathroom door. "I'm going to try not to."
"He'll beat you again, Dick. I don't doubt that for a minute. Please stay away from him," Beckett said softly. "He's bad news. I looked into him myself after I saw you. He's like Buckley, but a little more obvious."
"I've handled worse." His pride as much as his need for Jackie was getting in the way. Dick glanced at Kate before sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I should go."
"Oh, no," she said, taking hold of his shoulder to pull him back down. "Six hours sleep. Right here, right now. We don't have to talk about anything more, but you promised me some real sleep."
She was clearly not going to take no for an answer.
"Kate," he protested when he found himself back against the bed, "that's not how this works."
"Dick," she replied in the same tone, dropping down until she was nose to nose with him. "I don't care. Go to sleep. You're safe and the city will survive without you for one night. Do it for me."
He sighed heavily. "At least let me go get the mask out of your living room? Just in case?"
"Fine...but I'll keep your clothes in here. If you're thinking about sneaking off out the window, you're doing it naked," she said. Part of her didn't doubt that Dick just might do that.
He cursed under his breath as he rolled to his feet and padded into the other room. That actually had been his plan exactly, but now he just retrieved the mask and came back. Dick tossed on the side table before flopping back onto the bed, face down. "Fine."
He was like a child. Like a giant, muscle bound, scarred child. She hadn't seen anyone so petulant about having to sleep in her life.
"Good night, Dick," she said as she pulled the sheet up over his bare ass. Beckett propped herself up on an elbow and watched him, totally not sleepy. She was a little hungry, actually and couldn't wait for him to fall asleep so she could sneak out and finish her cold pad thai.
It didn't take long for him to crash. He was as exhausted as she suspected, and the orgasm hadn't helped things. Soon his arms were tucked under the pillow, hair a dark stain against the white cloth, eyes shut and broad back rising and falling with deep, measured breath. He would sleep well into the morning and feel physically better, but anxious at having lost so much time.
She waited until she was sure he was genuinely asleep before she settled down on the pillow. His breathing was hypnotic and it didn't take long for her to be drowsy, too. She had no illusions about waking up next to him...she was sure he'd be out of bed and out the window before the sun was even up.
Except Dick was in the exact same place come morning. He hadn't even rolled on his back or pulled his arms out from under the pillow. His back still rose and fell steadily, lost to the kind of coma sleep he was prone to having not not rested at all in two or three days.
Beckett was shocked to find him still there and she wasn't sure what to do. She'd counted on him sneaking off, the way he did. She simply watched him for a long time before she slipped out of bed and grabbed her robe, padding out of the bedroom to make herself some breakfast and straighten up after last night.
He might have slept through the night, but Dick shifted and came awake when he felt her leave. He dragged himself out of sleep, pushing up onto one muscled arm as he forced his eyes open, reaching up to rub at them. For a moment he didn't know where he was, but Kate's scent lingered on the sheets. He flopped onto his back before rolling out of bed and padding silently, naked, into the living room. "Kate?"
"I didn't mean to wake you up," she replied quietly, tugging her silk robe around her after throwing away the thai boxes and straightening the pillows. "I actually didn't expect you to still be here. I figured you'd have taken off as soon as I fell asleep." She paused and walked closer to him. "I'm glad you're still here."
"I crashed," he said with a shrug. He was still rubbing at his eyes when he reached for her, wanting to tug her closer. "I gotta go pretty soon, though. You got anything for breakfast?"
"I have cold pizza," she offered, though she really couldn't vouch for how good it might be. Her refrigerator was a museum of take away boxes, cartons, and bags. One of these days she really needed to clean it out.
"I'm going to come over and cook you real food sometime," he said with a short laugh before bending to kiss her warmly. He was sure he could find something, but right now he was more interested in the curve of her hip under that robe.
Everybody says that," she laughed. "Like take out is bad for me or something. I had some bacon here. Once. And I buy fruit..."
"It's good take out," he agreed amiably as he pulled away and turned to go back into her bedroom, "but it's still take out. Can I use your shower?" He was in an exponentially better mood since getting a full six hours sleep. He still looked worn, but his smile was real, and there wasn't any petulant tone in his voice. Secretly he was kind of hoping that Kate would have forgotten about Estacado.
"Go right ahead," she replied. "There's towels in the cabinet and a regular bar of soap if you don't want to smell like coconut lime. I'll see what kind of food I can get together while you wash up."
Dick paused to look back at her over his shoulder. "Do you use the coconut lime?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "It's one of my favorites, but I do have a mango orange and a cranberry walnut if those are more your taste," Beckett added with a soft laugh. Somehow, Dick didn't strike her as the fruity body wash type of guy.
"Maybe I want to spend the rest of the day smell liking you," he murmured with a smile as he went into the bathroom.
She turned around quickly, her eyes wide and a blush creeping up her neck and cheeks. She could not believe he just said that.
