Visitors

[wearingagun]

She hated the hospital. She hated the drugs and the smell and the nurses coming and going. She couldn't get any decent sleep because someone was constantly there to check her stitches or her blood pressure or her temperature. It took a couple days before they eased off on the narcotic drip and she could focus and stay awake. Watch the vid. Raley and Ochoa had been in, as had the Captain and it seemed like half the department. Her oom was full of flowers and balloons and well wishes. The department shrink had been in twice already and Kate knew she was going to have to talk to him at length eventually.

But for now she had a tray of clear liquids, coffee and broth and gelatin. She had the vid on some mindless program about interior design. The day was sunny and Kin City General buzzed with activity around her. It made it easy to think of anything other than being tied to the wall and nearly gutted. It made it easier to forget why she hurt so much right now with her bandaged ribs and her wrist in a cast. No, she didn't think about those things in the daylight. Those thoughts came at night.

Comments

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

She rolled her head on the pillow and smiled as she lifted her casted hand and waved at him with her fingertips.

"Hey," she said softly. "I was wondering if I'd get a visit from you. Come on in and have a seat."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he said with a sheepish laugh. Dick sank into the chair next to her bed, setting the books carefully on the side table. "Physically, how're you feeling?"

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I hurt," she told him. "It hurts to breathe and my stomach aches and itches and I'm not allowed to scratch it and my arm is killing me and my face feels swollen but I haven't really looked yet," she lists, indulging in a little bit of whining before sucking it up again.

"Other than that, I'm fine. They say I'll make a complete recovery, though I'll have some scars to show for it."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

He nodded slowly, leaning forward with his arms folded on the edge of her bed. "And how are you feeling otherwise." She was allowed to put on a front, of course, he wouldn't push, but he'd seen her restless sleep.

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I'm...fine," she lied. It sounded weak to her ears. The shrink came every day and she had yet to tell him anything of substance.

"I've been dreaming, but I wake up here and I know I'm safe. It'll be okay."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"It will be okay," he said with a firm nod, "but that doesn't mean it has to be okay right now." Dick dropped his head to the side. "I don't have to be the person you talk to, Kate, but don't keep it all to yourself, all right?"

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

It made her eyes sting and she looked up toward the ceiling.

"Okay," she promised. She'd seen Dick's body in the chair at Mickey's. She knew he understood getting hurt. Really, if there was anyone who would understand...it would be him. Her breath hitched and it made her wince.

"Every time it hurts...I remember," she admitted quietly.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he said quietly, "but it's more than remembering, Kate, isn't it." That was the danger of trauma, wasn't it. "Every time it hurts, you re-experience it."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I can't believe it happened. Any of it. Getting taken. What he did to me. What he did to Aayla. And I watched her kill him, Dick. I watched and nothing had ever been so...good."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I know." His fingers curled in the blankets, but he kept his eyes on her, expression neutral. "This stuff...it gets stuck in your head like a gear that needs oil, Kate, and it's not going to stop feeling like that unless you get real help, okay?" He spoke from experience. He was a hypocrite, but he spoke from experience.

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I know." She managed a small laugh and pulled herself back together. "That's what the shrink keeps telling me when he comes and sits in that chair."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, sometimes shrinks actually know what they're talking about," he said with a rough laugh. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair back from her face. "But you do what you need to do, all right? You know I've got your back."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

Beckett nodded and closed her eyes.

"I know," she said quietly. "And when I get out of here, I want to see you. You can use the window all you want." She smiled a little and opened her eyes to look at him. So much of what she couldn't say was there in her eyes.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

Dick stroked a warm, weighted hand over her hair. "It is going to be all right, Kate," he murmured, meeting her eyes, the concern in his blues spilling up into the twist of his brow, "I promise it's going to be all right."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"You can't promise that, Dick," Beckett replied softly. She reached up and took hold of his hand. "But you could be right. At least it'll be better once I'm out of here."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I promise lots of things I can't really keep." He held her hand in both of his, bringing it to his lips, still looking pained. "Bad habit."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I won't make you break it," she said softly. His lips felt good. Warm. She hated the hospital...so cold. She felt like she couldn't possibly get enough blankets.

"And then it dawned on her- he was kissing her hand. That was...new. She watched as his lips touched her skin and was a little surprised to find that she didn't mind one bit.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

Her hands were chilled. Dick wanted to crawl in with her until she was warm again, knowing the cold was coming from more than the under heated hospital room. Instead he just ducked his head, forehead to her hand. "I'm so sorry Kate," he said quietly, voice suddenly hoarse, "I'm so sorry I couldn't get there sooner."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"How did you even know?" she asked. "He caught me unaware and drugged me and when I woke up...I don't know how you knew. I don't know how anyone knew. I was sure I was going to die there."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"As soon as I got wind that he'd gotten out during transport I figured the three of you were targets." He shook his head slowly. "But I found out late in the game. He already had hours on me. He'd already gotten to you."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"So you went to Tereus," she said, matter of factly. If it was her, she'd take out the cops before she took on the one who she knew could do real damage. It made sense, in a twisted, criminal, psychopath way.

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I had just checked your apartment when I got word the hit had been taken out on him," he said, his gut twisting. He was already carrying a lot of guilt for the choice he'd made, even if ultimately it hadn't really been a choice at all. Tereus had been one more shot from being dead when Nightwing had arrived.

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"I saw the monitor. He had a monitor. There was video of his place," she said. "I didn't see what happened, though. I kept drifting in and out."

[last-grayson.livejournal.com]

"I got the shooter," he said, giving her hand a squeeze, "Tereus' balcony doors were shot out but he was fine. You must have seen the monitor before I got there. I cut it kind of close."

[wearingagun.livejournal.com]

"At least he's okay. You did good, Dick. I don't know what I'd do if..."

Her throat closed of, choking the words as she thought for a moment what it would be like to go through this all knowing Tereus had been killed by that son of a bitch.